Bill Kelly: When Words Matter Most
One of the greatest fears care partners share is wondering what to say to someone they
love as they approach the end of life. Whether the person is living with dementia or
another life-limiting illness, many of us worry about saying the wrong thing. The truth is,
the “right words” are often much simpler than we imagine.
A thoughtful article by Angela Haupt in TIME magazine, “What to Say to Someone
Who Is Dying” (August 5, 2026), reminds us that our presence often speaks louder than
our words.
The experts interviewed for the article—including hospice physicians, palliative care
specialists, and grief counselors—offer advice that applies not only during the final days
of life but throughout the caregiving journey.
Five Lessons for Every Care Partner
Presence is the greatest gift.
You don’t have to carry the conversation. Holding a hand, sharing quiet moments, or
simply sitting together lets someone know they are not alone.
Speak from your heart.
Simple statements such as:
“I love you.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m so glad we’ve had this time together.”
“I’m here with you.”
can provide comfort that lasts far longer than perfectly chosen words.
Listen without trying to fix things.
Sometimes people want to talk about their fears, memories, or unfinished business.
Other times they simply want someone to listen. Resist the urge to solve every problem
or change the subject.
Share memories.
For someone living with dementia, familiar stories, photographs, favorite music, and
expressions of gratitude can spark moments of connection—even when memory has
faded.
It’s okay to show emotion.
Many people worry that crying will make things harder. Genuine emotion often reassures our loved ones that they are deeply loved. Tears, smiles, laughter, and
silence all belong in these conversations.
A Message for Families Living with Dementia
Dementia changes many things, but it does not erase the human need for love,
connection, and belonging. Even when words become difficult, people often continue to
recognize kindness through a gentle touch, a familiar voice, or simply having someone
nearby.
As care partners, we don’t need perfect conversations. We simply need to be present.
Care partner support groups can help with these conversations.
At Living Well with Dementia Sisters, we encourage families to cherish these
moments—whether they’re sharing stories over coffee, listening to a favorite song, or
quietly holding a loved one’s hand. These everyday acts of compassion often become
the memories we treasure most.
Reference
Haupt, Angela. What to Say to Someone Who Is Dying. TIME, August 5, 2026.
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